N-A-D-I-A

On 20th May 2001, approximately 1:45am, Shazila Nadia was born into this world at Subang Jaya Medical Center. It was an experience that I will never forget. My child ...in my arms. All the pain and suffering forgotten in that very moment. The seed that I have carried and nurtured inside me has grew to become a beautiful being. A life with its own soul.

I remember that when I first found out that I was pregnant with Nadia, I cried. I wasn't ready. We just got married, I was still struggling to manage life as a wife, and we just moved into our own house. That morning, as Aja was getting ready to go to work, I took one of those pregnancy test-kit. I suspected but was still in denial. Aja was already walking down the staircase when the results came out. Two lines. I was pregnant.
I chase after him and as I relate the outcome of the test, I began to cry. I was SCARED!
I didn't want a baby yet! I was just NOT ready!

The pregnancy was a tough one for me. The morning sickness should have been called the 24-hour sickness because I was sick the whole time. I couldn't stand the smell of the newly-painted house, the smell of the new furnitures, so we moved back to my parents' place. I couldn't stand the smell of Aja's cologne so he started wearing them in the car on the way to work, and made sure that he quickly takes a shower when he comes back or to steer clear away from me.
Neither food nor liquid can enter me as they will just go out again.
Only after the 2nd-trimester did things start to improve. The baby was beginning to move around. I can feel her growing inside me. The miracle of life.
My feelings and attitude changed over time, I didn't know when but suddenly I couldn't wait to see my baby. I began to believe that I can be a good mother and that I can and will give the very best to her.We started talking to her everyday. I loved it when she would kick or turn and twist whenever I called out her name. I was looking forward to seeing my baby.

When the day came, and Shazila Nadia was in my arms, I cried again. But this time, it was tears of joy and happiness. I can't explain the feeling. No words can do justice. I held her close and as I kissed her for the first time, I made a promise to Allah.
This child...
that you have blessed into my life,
I promise to take care of her,
give her all the best that I could.
I will love her, nurture her, for she is MINE.

My baby, Shazila Nadia Muzafar Shah.

Below is a picture of Nadia during her 8th birthday party (held on 16/05/2009).

Although she is eight now, she will always be my baby

To Nadia, if you're reading this, always remember that Mama loves you very much! You and your sisters are all unique and special to me. I love all of you. You, my firstborn, are so like Mama. Among my babies, you are the one that has closely resembled me in both looks and behaviour. I know that you will grow up to be even more special, you make me so proud.

Remember that Mama is there for you, every step that you make in this world, ALWAYS!

I Wonder Why ...

I have not written in a long time. Not because there is nothing to write however.

Countless times, I signed in and clicked on the "New Post" button. I would write a line or two, and once, I even wrote a whole paragraph. But then, something tug me to click it off.

I don't know why.

I have wrote about the normal daily things in my life, I even wrote a bit about our recent family holiday trip to Tioman, about the political scenario in Malaysia, the economy and even about the hot issue regarding the usage of English in Maths and Science.
But again and again, I would stop and just leave the page.

I wonder why.

The Week That Was...

The first week of March has passed.

"How time flies ..." This phrase usually ends with "... when ur having fun" but in this text, I'm not sure if I had any fun at all this week.
A lot of happenings everywhere else for sure, but in my daily life, NADA!

Bangun pagi, gosok gigi, minum kopi, laa dee dah ... - How I start my day.
Gosok gigi, tengok TV, tertidur, laa dee dah... - How I end my day.

I have stopped watching news on TV now because I am totally fed-up with the current political scenario in Malaysia (Perak especially - and since my IC states ******-08-****, I can't run away from the fact that I am a Perak gal). So sad to see the state of Perak now. Enough with the politics already, our country's economy and stability are more important. Get to work! Think of the people, you morons!!!

Well, like I said earlier, not much happenings in my life.
So, buh bye...

March

We are now in March 2009 - the third month in the Gregorian calendar.


March got its name after the Roman War God from ancient Rome called Martius or Mars for short.

I always look at it as the time to march ahead into the year.


The time to look at your new year resolution and see how far you've come; are you on track or way behind... or better yet, have you accomplished it?




March is also the last month of the first quarter of the year. A good time for financial outlook. How much have you spent this year? Is this year the year to go for that holiday you have always dreamt about? Is there gonna be enough for your children's future? And the list goes on...



What have you done this month? What have you done this year?

Bucket List (Malaysian Version)

The Bucket List. Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not.

Things you have done during your lifetime:

(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
() Watched someone die
(X) Been to Singapore
( X) Been to Thailand
(X) Been to Kota Bahru
( )Been to Kota Kinabalu
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(X) Gone to Putrajaya
(X ) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played 'police and thief'
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X ) Paid for a meal with coins only
(X ) Been to the top of the KL Tower
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
( ) Made prank phone calls
( X) Been down Petaling Street in Kuala Lumpur
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(X) Caught in a flood
() Danced in the rain-naked
() Written a letter to Perdana Menteri
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
(X) Been deep sea fishing
(X) Driven around Peninsula Malaysia
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
(X) Gone on a water ski-doo
(X) Lived in more than one country
() Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
() Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Sipadan
(X ) Seen the KL Twin Tower
() Gone to the top of Mount Kinabalu
( ) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(X) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
() Ridden on a bas mini
(X) Been to Sunway Lagoon
( ) Truly believe in the power of prayer
() Been in a frozen tundra
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
() Been to Taman Negara
() Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
() Been water-skiing
(X) Been snow-skiing
(X) Been to Westminster Abbey
(X) Been to the Louvre
() Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Malaysian Cup soccer game
( ) Been to a Thomas Cup badminton match
(X) Played in the rain

My Blind Date

Recently, I posted a note on FB entitled "Bucket List". The note is about the things you have or haven't done in your lifetime; places you have seen or visited; etc... you get my drift...

On the top of the list is a question "Have you been on a blind date?" and my answer was a "YES" (or an X - which means I have done it before). I received a few queries and startled remarks over that from a few people who simply can not imagine me going on a date with someone I don't know. Hehe... maybe they're right. Thinking back, it was not something that I would normally do or even think of doing in a zillion years.

Well y'all, YES! I have been on a blind date, of some sort.


Following is the story of that date, so, you give your judgement on whether it was a blind date or not.

It was in the middle of 1992. The year of my SPM(Form 5). I was studying in a boarding school at that time and had gone home during the semester break. My best friend(who was in a different school) asked me to accompany her to visit her dentist. Since we only get to meet up during school holidays, I decided to go with her to see her dentist in PJ. It was also a good excuse to give to my parents... hehe... as usual.

My friend also had other plans. At that time, it was a little hard for both of us to get permission to go out so once we're out of the house, we will use it to the max! After the dentist appointment, she planned to see her boyfriend at another part of PJ to go watch a movie. She convinced me to go along as her boyfriend would also be bringing his friend who happens to be the driver for this escapade :P

My initial plan was to accompany her to the dentist, and then go home, since I don't like being a spare tyre. But my friend kept on persuading me and stressing that I won't be a third party coz there will be another person there also. And she went on to say that this fellow is her boyfriend's close friend and that I should at least get to know him. In the end, I relented and agreed to join them.

So, after the dentist appointment, we made our way to McDonalds Sect 14 and waited there. They came in a dark cherry-red Proton Aeroback. We climbed in at the back(me behind the driver) and before the car sped of again, I was introduced to the other fellow. All I could see(and this was by looking at the rearview mirror) was a guy, wearing a sports cap and Ray-Ban sunglasses. Basically, all I saw was his mouth and nose. He was quiet throughtout our drive to the cinema. I was starting to think that it's gonna be a llloooooonng day.

We arrived at the cinema(which was Rex KL... long gone now). This time, I manage to see his eyes as he got no choice but to open those large sunglasses in the theater. We started talking a bit. He told me that this is going to be his third time watching the movie, which btw was "Beauty & The Beast". We laughed over that, somehow, I remembered very well that he made me laugh quite a few times that day, especially at his attempt in eating a 'hot dog special' in the darken theater. We shared some snacks and watched the movie.

After the movie, we stopped by at a video arcade where we played some games and begin to know each other better. Later,they drove us home and I said my goodbye to him. I don't think we exchanged phone numbers then.

Basically, that was how the date went. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would turn out to be. I met a new friend who happens to be a nice guy.

Oh ya, I forgot, the guy's name is Muzafar Shah @ Aja @ my husband @ the father of my girls.

Frogs and Crickets

I had a very interesting conversation with my second daughter early this morning.

It was about 6:50am, we were walking down the staircase together after helping her get ready to go to school. It was still quite dark outside and since our staircase has a large window from top to bottom, we had a good view of the outside world as we both held hands to walk down together. The lighting was just perfect. Dark but with a little bit of light on the horizon. It was a classic Kodak moment.

"Mama," she said. "I like night time."
(for my five year old girl, if its dark outside it means its still night time)

"Yeah..." I replied nonchalantly.

At that time, my mind was already strategizing my plans/schedules for the day. It was also quite early and I haven't had my morning coffee yet. Yes, I admit, I'm a COFFEEHOLIC! if there is such a word. I can't function properly if I don't have my coffee.

"I like because I like to hear the sound outside at night...", she added.

I stopped. I looked outside into the morning dawn scenery, and I listened. Then I begin to understand her statement. It was indeed a nice sound, like my daughter said, a beautiful harmonic composition. It was the sound of frogs croaking and crickets creaking. It was the sound of nature. Something that I used to love myself when I was small but somehow got ignored as I grow older and got busier, like the sound of pitter-patter of the rain, of birds chirping in the trees.

We stood at the stairs landing for a moment. Both of us, still holding hands, looking outside, and enjoying the sound of frogs and crickets. It was such a touching moment for me then. A simple observation by a five-year old kid could open up a whole new world, or in this case, open up my ears. I have been so caught up in my life that I haven't taken a moment now and then to stand still and just listen.