Guilty

GUILTY!

yes, i'm guilty

of what crime?

i made my daughter cry

why?

she read my blog article

Shh... Anyone There Listening?: N-A-D-I-A

did i cry too?

yes

It's All Your Fault!

Its YOUR Fault!

Thats how fast and easy it is to put the blame on somebody. Just 3 words.

This is what is happening in Terengganu after the collapse of the new stadium.

This is also happening in Selangor, with the collapse of Jaya Supermarket. (Too late boys, it collapse while you big guns were trying to demolish it! What a joke!)

What next huh? Would more lives be sacrificed and more properties be destroyed while the MOJOs are pointing fingers and 'assessing' the situation. The world must be laughing at us.
Or maybe they're thinking, "Wow, Malaysia is so volatile... all the buildings are collapsing."

Our new Malaysian theme song should now be,
"I FEEL THE EARTH MOVE UNDER MY FEET" (dont remember the title but the chorus has that particular line.

N-A-D-I-A

On 20th May 2001, approximately 1:45am, Shazila Nadia was born into this world at Subang Jaya Medical Center. It was an experience that I will never forget. My child ...in my arms. All the pain and suffering forgotten in that very moment. The seed that I have carried and nurtured inside me has grew to become a beautiful being. A life with its own soul.

I remember that when I first found out that I was pregnant with Nadia, I cried. I wasn't ready. We just got married, I was still struggling to manage life as a wife, and we just moved into our own house. That morning, as Aja was getting ready to go to work, I took one of those pregnancy test-kit. I suspected but was still in denial. Aja was already walking down the staircase when the results came out. Two lines. I was pregnant.
I chase after him and as I relate the outcome of the test, I began to cry. I was SCARED!
I didn't want a baby yet! I was just NOT ready!

The pregnancy was a tough one for me. The morning sickness should have been called the 24-hour sickness because I was sick the whole time. I couldn't stand the smell of the newly-painted house, the smell of the new furnitures, so we moved back to my parents' place. I couldn't stand the smell of Aja's cologne so he started wearing them in the car on the way to work, and made sure that he quickly takes a shower when he comes back or to steer clear away from me.
Neither food nor liquid can enter me as they will just go out again.
Only after the 2nd-trimester did things start to improve. The baby was beginning to move around. I can feel her growing inside me. The miracle of life.
My feelings and attitude changed over time, I didn't know when but suddenly I couldn't wait to see my baby. I began to believe that I can be a good mother and that I can and will give the very best to her.We started talking to her everyday. I loved it when she would kick or turn and twist whenever I called out her name. I was looking forward to seeing my baby.

When the day came, and Shazila Nadia was in my arms, I cried again. But this time, it was tears of joy and happiness. I can't explain the feeling. No words can do justice. I held her close and as I kissed her for the first time, I made a promise to Allah.
This child...
that you have blessed into my life,
I promise to take care of her,
give her all the best that I could.
I will love her, nurture her, for she is MINE.

My baby, Shazila Nadia Muzafar Shah.

Below is a picture of Nadia during her 8th birthday party (held on 16/05/2009).

Although she is eight now, she will always be my baby

To Nadia, if you're reading this, always remember that Mama loves you very much! You and your sisters are all unique and special to me. I love all of you. You, my firstborn, are so like Mama. Among my babies, you are the one that has closely resembled me in both looks and behaviour. I know that you will grow up to be even more special, you make me so proud.

Remember that Mama is there for you, every step that you make in this world, ALWAYS!

I Wonder Why ...

I have not written in a long time. Not because there is nothing to write however.

Countless times, I signed in and clicked on the "New Post" button. I would write a line or two, and once, I even wrote a whole paragraph. But then, something tug me to click it off.

I don't know why.

I have wrote about the normal daily things in my life, I even wrote a bit about our recent family holiday trip to Tioman, about the political scenario in Malaysia, the economy and even about the hot issue regarding the usage of English in Maths and Science.
But again and again, I would stop and just leave the page.

I wonder why.

The Week That Was...

The first week of March has passed.

"How time flies ..." This phrase usually ends with "... when ur having fun" but in this text, I'm not sure if I had any fun at all this week.
A lot of happenings everywhere else for sure, but in my daily life, NADA!

Bangun pagi, gosok gigi, minum kopi, laa dee dah ... - How I start my day.
Gosok gigi, tengok TV, tertidur, laa dee dah... - How I end my day.

I have stopped watching news on TV now because I am totally fed-up with the current political scenario in Malaysia (Perak especially - and since my IC states ******-08-****, I can't run away from the fact that I am a Perak gal). So sad to see the state of Perak now. Enough with the politics already, our country's economy and stability are more important. Get to work! Think of the people, you morons!!!

Well, like I said earlier, not much happenings in my life.
So, buh bye...

March

We are now in March 2009 - the third month in the Gregorian calendar.


March got its name after the Roman War God from ancient Rome called Martius or Mars for short.

I always look at it as the time to march ahead into the year.


The time to look at your new year resolution and see how far you've come; are you on track or way behind... or better yet, have you accomplished it?




March is also the last month of the first quarter of the year. A good time for financial outlook. How much have you spent this year? Is this year the year to go for that holiday you have always dreamt about? Is there gonna be enough for your children's future? And the list goes on...



What have you done this month? What have you done this year?

Bucket List (Malaysian Version)

The Bucket List. Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not.

Things you have done during your lifetime:

(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
() Watched someone die
(X) Been to Singapore
( X) Been to Thailand
(X) Been to Kota Bahru
( )Been to Kota Kinabalu
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(X) Gone to Putrajaya
(X ) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played 'police and thief'
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X ) Paid for a meal with coins only
(X ) Been to the top of the KL Tower
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
( ) Made prank phone calls
( X) Been down Petaling Street in Kuala Lumpur
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(X) Caught in a flood
() Danced in the rain-naked
() Written a letter to Perdana Menteri
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
(X) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
(X) Been deep sea fishing
(X) Driven around Peninsula Malaysia
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
(X) Gone on a water ski-doo
(X) Lived in more than one country
() Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
() Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Sipadan
(X ) Seen the KL Twin Tower
() Gone to the top of Mount Kinabalu
( ) Been on a cruise
(X) Traveled by train
(X) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
() Ridden on a bas mini
(X) Been to Sunway Lagoon
( ) Truly believe in the power of prayer
() Been in a frozen tundra
( ) Seen whales in the ocean
() Been to Taman Negara
() Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
() Been water-skiing
(X) Been snow-skiing
(X) Been to Westminster Abbey
(X) Been to the Louvre
() Swam in the Mediterranean
(X) Been to a Malaysian Cup soccer game
( ) Been to a Thomas Cup badminton match
(X) Played in the rain

My Blind Date

Recently, I posted a note on FB entitled "Bucket List". The note is about the things you have or haven't done in your lifetime; places you have seen or visited; etc... you get my drift...

On the top of the list is a question "Have you been on a blind date?" and my answer was a "YES" (or an X - which means I have done it before). I received a few queries and startled remarks over that from a few people who simply can not imagine me going on a date with someone I don't know. Hehe... maybe they're right. Thinking back, it was not something that I would normally do or even think of doing in a zillion years.

Well y'all, YES! I have been on a blind date, of some sort.


Following is the story of that date, so, you give your judgement on whether it was a blind date or not.

It was in the middle of 1992. The year of my SPM(Form 5). I was studying in a boarding school at that time and had gone home during the semester break. My best friend(who was in a different school) asked me to accompany her to visit her dentist. Since we only get to meet up during school holidays, I decided to go with her to see her dentist in PJ. It was also a good excuse to give to my parents... hehe... as usual.

My friend also had other plans. At that time, it was a little hard for both of us to get permission to go out so once we're out of the house, we will use it to the max! After the dentist appointment, she planned to see her boyfriend at another part of PJ to go watch a movie. She convinced me to go along as her boyfriend would also be bringing his friend who happens to be the driver for this escapade :P

My initial plan was to accompany her to the dentist, and then go home, since I don't like being a spare tyre. But my friend kept on persuading me and stressing that I won't be a third party coz there will be another person there also. And she went on to say that this fellow is her boyfriend's close friend and that I should at least get to know him. In the end, I relented and agreed to join them.

So, after the dentist appointment, we made our way to McDonalds Sect 14 and waited there. They came in a dark cherry-red Proton Aeroback. We climbed in at the back(me behind the driver) and before the car sped of again, I was introduced to the other fellow. All I could see(and this was by looking at the rearview mirror) was a guy, wearing a sports cap and Ray-Ban sunglasses. Basically, all I saw was his mouth and nose. He was quiet throughtout our drive to the cinema. I was starting to think that it's gonna be a llloooooonng day.

We arrived at the cinema(which was Rex KL... long gone now). This time, I manage to see his eyes as he got no choice but to open those large sunglasses in the theater. We started talking a bit. He told me that this is going to be his third time watching the movie, which btw was "Beauty & The Beast". We laughed over that, somehow, I remembered very well that he made me laugh quite a few times that day, especially at his attempt in eating a 'hot dog special' in the darken theater. We shared some snacks and watched the movie.

After the movie, we stopped by at a video arcade where we played some games and begin to know each other better. Later,they drove us home and I said my goodbye to him. I don't think we exchanged phone numbers then.

Basically, that was how the date went. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would turn out to be. I met a new friend who happens to be a nice guy.

Oh ya, I forgot, the guy's name is Muzafar Shah @ Aja @ my husband @ the father of my girls.

Frogs and Crickets

I had a very interesting conversation with my second daughter early this morning.

It was about 6:50am, we were walking down the staircase together after helping her get ready to go to school. It was still quite dark outside and since our staircase has a large window from top to bottom, we had a good view of the outside world as we both held hands to walk down together. The lighting was just perfect. Dark but with a little bit of light on the horizon. It was a classic Kodak moment.

"Mama," she said. "I like night time."
(for my five year old girl, if its dark outside it means its still night time)

"Yeah..." I replied nonchalantly.

At that time, my mind was already strategizing my plans/schedules for the day. It was also quite early and I haven't had my morning coffee yet. Yes, I admit, I'm a COFFEEHOLIC! if there is such a word. I can't function properly if I don't have my coffee.

"I like because I like to hear the sound outside at night...", she added.

I stopped. I looked outside into the morning dawn scenery, and I listened. Then I begin to understand her statement. It was indeed a nice sound, like my daughter said, a beautiful harmonic composition. It was the sound of frogs croaking and crickets creaking. It was the sound of nature. Something that I used to love myself when I was small but somehow got ignored as I grow older and got busier, like the sound of pitter-patter of the rain, of birds chirping in the trees.

We stood at the stairs landing for a moment. Both of us, still holding hands, looking outside, and enjoying the sound of frogs and crickets. It was such a touching moment for me then. A simple observation by a five-year old kid could open up a whole new world, or in this case, open up my ears. I have been so caught up in my life that I haven't taken a moment now and then to stand still and just listen.

My Achy Breaky Back

My achy back strikes again, this time around, maybe due to a prolonged lapse, it came back with vengeance.
It all started on Monday morning (Thaipusam hol). I woke up feeling kinda stiff and 'lenguh-lenguh' all over. BUT, I was still able to get up off bed and walk normally. Still didn't suspect anything.
By noon, I was starting to have difficulty getting up from a sitting position and vice-versa. I started to realize then that my slipped-disc was trying to push its way back into my 'normal' life all over again. I think it was trying to say "Hello, long time no see. Thought you have forgotten me... I'm still here, a thorn in your back!".
By evening, my worst fears are confirmed. My legs were badly aching too. It was just like before. Took some pain killers and applied the necessary medicine to the achy body parts.
Will hold off making an appointment with the doc and see how it goes.

Oh How I Wish...

Oh!
How I wish...

How I wish I was on this beach

With the fine white sands between my toes

The smell, and the sound, filling my senses

And the wind, the breeze, ruffling my hair

Oh how I wish...

(Picture taken in July 2008 at Katathani Beach Resort, Phuket)

Awful!

That's how I'm feeling since Sunday morning. It is Wednesday noon now, so that means I have been feeling lousy for more than 3 days now.

It all started with a bad case of diarrhea. Then, I started having chest pain which leads to achenes on my arms and neck. Suspecting the worse, I dragged Aja to ER @ SJMC (now known as Sime Darby Med Ctr I think...) or should I say, Aja helped drag me, since I was very weak by that time.

The moment I told the nurse re. my pain (chest pain, sore arms etc) she quickly put me on a wheelchair and pushed me to the 'rhesus room'. Now, I have no idea what 'rhesus room' is for but they had beds and lots of machines there. She passed me to another intern who quickly put me on the ECG machines. The good news was that I did not have a heart attack! But, what then was wrong with me? In came this Singh doctor (I didn't get to know his name unfortunately). He made some jokes about my ECG results... tried to scare me about it initially. Then he asked me a few questions about my condition and family history and ordered a blood test. Not finding anything wrong with me, other than a very rapid heartbeat and irregular breathing, he wanted to ward me for observation. Hehe, he must have seen my face then, because he quickly asked how many kids I left at home. LOL, he is such a smart guy and funny too... When I said three girls under 8 yrs old, he told me that he will let me go home with some meds and if I agree to be jabbed at my behind with some muscle relaxing med. (At this time, we more or less believe that I was experiencing a minor swelling of my chest muscles) I got jabbed, Aja took the prescriptions and we said our goodbye to the nice doctor and his helpful assistants.

But, alas, my maladies did not go away. I was so weak the next day, I just couldn't do much at home other than sit or lie down. Even to walk a short distance to the toilet takes too much of my energy which I didn't have in the first place. Tuesday was also the same. I did manage to drive to work but only to sit for an hour before I realize that I have to go home and lie down again.

Today, Wednesday, my diarrhea came back. I feel weak again but I am pushing myself to go to work. Maybe if I can keep my mind busy, I won't notice the pain or discomfort. Also, I just can't lie down in bed or stay at home anymore. .

Got my meds, got my 100Plus... I'm on the road to recovery (I hope, Insya Allah)

MOWs

Yep!
I'm officially a member of the infamous 'MOMs ON WHEELS' aka 'MOWs' club!

MOW, The club that consists of many heroic and courageous women that braves the Malaysian roads on their way to schools, offices, tuition centers, music academies, gyms, markets, shops, laundries, malls to name a few...
We drive along other crazy Malaysian drivers and riders.
We drive on roads that have been ridiculously planned by our town planners whom I suspect never attend a town planning course, or if they did, they must have taken it in some obscure countries where the roads are made of dirt and the commuters are mainly ox-carts.
We drive in rain or shine, although lately its mostly on the wet side. The weather is so unpredictable, it can be raining cats and dogs in Subang Jaya and the moment you pass through the Batu 3 toll towards Shah Alam, the sun is shining and not a drop of water to be seen anywhere.
We drive and park our vehicles as professionally as we could. Of course, in Malaysia one must bear with all the double and triple parkings. Hey, its a Malaysian thing! Yeah, rite....
We pay the toll, toll, and more tolls. I seriously belief the government are punishing us for not choosing the long and always packed route and instead choose a route that makes our journey faster and easier.

MOWs

We're here, there and everywhere!

As you're driving somewhere today, just look at the vehicles next to you and you might see a MOWs member. Or ... just look at your reflection in the car window... Show some respect. Or take pride in what you do. These women deserve it!

Nadia Starts Her Training Regime

Our eldest daughter, Nadia, has been selected into her school's gymnastics team. She started her training last Friday. We are so proud of her yet at the same time worried that it might be too much for her to handle. She will be training 3 times/week for 2 hours each session. Yikes!
Maybe I should join her now and get my body back in shape.

After her second session last Saturday, she started complaining of muscle pains and cramps. :(
We had to assure her that the pain would go away, explain that new muscles are developing in her body, and give her some heat-rub massages. Cian sangat-2 tengok dia...
Everytime she sneezes or cough pun sakit (specially at the stomach part)

Will update more as the training progresses.

Buzz Buzz Buzz

Oh my!
So far, 2009 has proven to be a very busy and hectic year for me AND it's only 6 days old. I feel like a bee buzzing myself to school, office, home, shops, and back again, school, office, home blah blah blah... My back is aching, my leg hurts (how I wish I can get a foot massage now) and I am so, so tired and sleepy.

I need:

• a vacation
• at least 7hrs of sleep every nite
• a manicure & pedicure
• hair treatment
• massage
• a driver
• a P.A
• a small compact car(Golf GTI maybe... hehe)
• help (sos)

Its beginning to look like my wish list for 2009. Hehe... ok adios everyone, I need to buzz myself somewhere again...

Its A New Year

GOODBYE 2008, HELLO 2009...

Yep, its a whole new year... adieu to the year that was...
so much happenings, good and bad...
some were expected, some were a surprise...
weddings, birthdays, and sadly even deaths...
2008 will be another year that was.